I don’t know who decided to run off and tell Chris everything, but I do know i can’t trust anyone, anymore. There is only a couple people I 100% trust now. Like I don’t understand why someone would do that. You have no idea about my life or anything, so you don’t know what’s going on it. There’s things I just don’t tell people and keep to myself. So people decide to assume the worst and fuck around with my life. Well thank you. Thank you very much. Get fucked forever and kindly get the fuck out of my life.
Holy shit. Seeing you and hearing you talk, just brought back a flood of memories. Like, they’re just rushing back, one after another. I’m not really sure how to react right now but it’s going to hit me. March is honestly going to be really interesting. It will be the first time seeing you in ages. I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am. It’s going to be nice seeing you, that’s all. Even if you have a girlfriend now, you’re such a great dude.
I haven’t updated in a while and I’m sorry for that. I’ll try and post more often, if I can.
I basically spend all of my free time at Kyle’s lately. I might as well be living in London, with the amount of time I spend there. It’s basically every weekend. I’m surprised he’s not sick of me yet.
Life is good. No complaints really. I was in a super bad mood the other day. Well, not really a bad mood, more of just an off weird one. I don’t even know how to explain it. It just sucked! But It’s a once a month type deal.
I’ve been getting more shift at work. that rules.
Get tattooed in 25 days, holy shit! I can’t wait.
I’ve been feeling really sick lately. Every single night for the past 3 days, I’ve been feeling just awful. My stomach is always upset. I haven’t the slightest clue to why I feel this way or what brought it on, but I want it to go away. It might be because of my lack of sleep, but I have no idea. I just hope it goes away soon. This morning I woke up a dizzy. Blegh.
Oof, I shouldn’t have lurked you. I do miss seeing you and all the junk. I even miss talking to you. I’m not too concerned though. I’m sure this feeling will go away with time. It’s almost been 3 weeks but honestly, it feels like it’s been a month. Sorry.
I’ve been in london basically since Friday night. It feels weird not being there today.
I’m glad we had that talk, but that being said, i’m still not getting my hopes up. If everything goes down the drain, then I won’t give any fucks and just go on with my life. That simple.
Maybe asking you about how you felt, was a bad idea. Now that I know, it’s all that’s been on my mind lately. I’m not getting my hopes up and I’m not giving any fucks. You can do what you want with this situation, because I don’t even know. You were not part of the plan, you weren’t suppose to be part of zero fucks 2010. I’ll just continue trying my hardest not to give any fucks. I’m sure I can do it. It just really sucks.
i hate when i deam about you because then i wake up missing you. it’s probably the worst feeling ever and i don’t think i should really be missing you. it’s not fair and it’s stupid. so please, try and stay out of my dreams. it would really mean a lot to me.
on other news, sarah deleted me from facebook for reasons unknown. i believe it’s because of a note i wrote about a lot of people on my facebook. good thing it wasn’t about her, but thats okay, she thinks every negative thing is about her. looks like you have yourself a great out look on yourself. good job, keep up the good work.
i work today, not stoked. i only work til 630 and then emilia is coming over, stoked. we hangout so much now and it’s honestly the best. i’m so glad she knocked some sense into me.
i’m really excited for friday. going to the bars and getting super trashed with my best friends. couldn’t ask for a better time.
I was walking somewhere or going home, I’m not sure which. I was talking on my phone and this sketchy dude over heard me and thought i was bad mouthing him. So he ran at me and tried attack me. I ran down to the mcdonalds plaza but something was going on there. There was a dead dude hanging over like the telephone lines and a car crash below. Police hadn’t shown up yet but everything was really sketchy. I called my grandma to come get me, but as that was happening some guy started to stalk towards me, i started freaking out and then he ran at me with a knife. i ran into subway and locked the doot behind me. The employees let me hide in the backroom. Eventually it was the next day and i was all scrapped up and cut (no idea how). I tried explaining it to my dad but he didn’t believe me at all.
I told myself that this was going to be zero fucks 2010, but i’ve found myself caring a bit. It’s hard to explain. I don’t care but at the same time I do. I just hope you don’t like me again because I don’t think I can bring myself to liking you back. Not after what happened last time, I just don’t want to. You’re awesome and everything but there’s nothing saying I can trust you. So here’s to hoping.
Anyways, my past weekend in Toronto was good.
I don’t really have much to say. I’m pretty tired. I can’t tell if I’m hungry or feeling sick. It’s confusing. Frig.
001. Get both the back of my thighs tattooed and finished.
002. Grow my hair past my boobs.
003. Lost 20 – 30 pounds.
004. Dye my hair black.
005. Go to the states.
006. Go on another road trip.
007. Move out.
008. Get another job.
009. Go to Canada’s Wonderland.
010. Go to Montreal again.
011. Learn to play keyboards.
012. Pay off my VISA.
013. Have a none crazy, sketchy boyfriend.
014. See a movie in 3D.
015. Apply for school.
016. Write in this blog at least once a week.
017. Write someone a letter.
018. Visit England.
019. Go on another for real date.
020. Pay for dinner, for a friend.
021. Attend warped tour.
022. Save at least 1000 dollars.
023. Learn to drive.
024. Get my G2.
025. Be in a photoshoot.
026. Drink a moderate amount, not too much.
027. Drink less pop and junk food.
028. Go to the gym at least once a week.
029. Learn to make sushi.
030. Meet someone famous.
Holy shit, can I just remind everyone how fucking sad it is, when Marissa dies on the OC? Like seriously. I just watched that episode on tv and wanted to cry (but didn’t).
I don’t really have much to update on. I have an entire week off and have no idea what to do with myself. I have 90 dollars but that’s all going towards my small trip to Toronto this weekend. I’m so excited! Even though I really hate bussing, but whatever. I’m bussing there on friday and hopefully my dad agrees to pick me up sunday morning, since my boss booked me (even though I booked everything off, cool dude alert.)
This past weekend, I spent my time in London, hanging out at Kyles. It was a really fun time. I went in after work on thursday. We just hangout and stayed up until 2am, but we were all up til 530am, in seperate rooms. Good. Friday we just hung out, walked downtown and ate free pizza. We decided we’d all attempt to stay up until noon the next day. We went on a snack run and eventually Natasha came over. She stayed for a bit. I only made it unil 5am, Kyle made it to 6am. It’s way too hard to stay up so long, on such little sleep.
yo, stop being 9 years older then me.
